What is your identity?
Identity is a word that is used often in the LGBTQ+ community. Gender identity and pronouns are how we identify ourselves to the outside world. Psychology Today defines identity as, “the values people hold, which dictate the choices they make.” Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines it as “the distinguishing character or personality of an individual.”
Identity is a word that many of us who were raised in Christianity recognize from phrases like, “find your identity in Christ.” This phrase and those similar to it are guiding principles for those who find their identity in what Christ says their identity is in the Bible.
Something I have found as I have gotten older is that it is harder and harder to find my identity and that it is easier and easier to find that I have lost who I am along the way.
I am a white, 26-year-old woman who is married to another woman and uses she/her pronouns. It should be easy to say that is where my identity lies. In many ways, especially at the stage of life I am in, my identity lies in my career, my hobbies, and my family and friends. But at times, I find myself losing my identity and who I am at my core outside of all of these things.
I sometimes remind myself of the principles I was taught throughout my childhood. I was raised in a Christian home and went to church every Sunday. I was taught to follow the teachings and example of Jesus and that is something I still hold to today. We each need our own guide and reason to do “the right thing.” Mine is who I was taught and raised to be. I look to the role models, like Jesus, that I was taught to look to, and those that I have found throughout adulthood.
Cindy wrote a couple of weeks ago who in our community identifies as Evangelical or not. I fit into the category of once identifying as Evangelical and now fitting into a category that could be defined as non-evangelical or exvangelical. Like many of us, this is a part of my identity I have struggled with. It is difficult to let go of something that was a part of you for so long, but also necessary to do in order to more fully align with who you truly are.
My identity is that I am a good wife, daughter, sister, and friend. I care deeply about the people around me, I have integrity, and I am creative. I think these things make me who I am and help me to excel at the things I do.
I recently heard a sermon about identity that sort of sparked this blog post and thoughts about what my identity is. The speaker said that your identity in Jesus should inform your actions. This was a thought provoking statement to me. In a world so focused on actions and what we do, it is interesting to think about focusing more on who we are informing what we do in life.
In true Quaker fashion, I would like to end with a few queries:
How does your identity inform your actions, rather than how your actions inform your identity?
Who are you, and who or what helps you determine that?
How or when do you struggle to find your identity and what helps you refocus to find it?
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