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Writer's pictureMadi Brown

Support for LGBTQ+ vulnerability



Trigger Warning: Homophobia, Transphobia, Suicide


The Affirming Quakers organization was founded because we wanted to create a community where Queer folk and their allies would feel safe and could share their experience and resources with each other, specifically when it came to those who have a background in the Quaker community.


Three of our founders have experienced vulnerability because of their Queer identity. We have a deep understanding of what it means to be excluded or targeted because of our gender or sexual identity. We know all too well what it feels like to no longer be accepted in a space that once felt so much like home.


The photo featured in this blog post is of an anonymous letter I received shortly after coming out. This was not the only letter of this kind that I received after coming out. I received several others, most of which were addressed from people I should have been able to trust with information about my sexuality. At this point after coming out, I was severely depressed, had been on depression and anxiety medication for several months prior in anticipation of coming out, and was suicidal. Coming home to a letter like this in the mail would send me into a tailspin. It got to the point that my wife, Hannah, wouldn't let me get the mail anymore and she would check for any suspicious letters prior to letting me look through the mail. I share this, not for pity, but to share that I have experienced being in a state of such vulnerability and searching high and low for resources all because of coming out.


This is what drives and motivates this organization. We are striving to create a community for LGBTQ+ folk who have experienced strife within their churches, places of work, communities, and families after coming out.


Currently, we offer a variety of resources for those among us who might be experiencing vulnerabilities and we hope to add more as our organization grows. The holidays can bring about all sorts of emotions for Queer folk whose family may not be affirming (yet). Our Gifts of Pride event has launched and we are making gifts for New Avenues for Youth, a Portland-based nonprofit organization. They are dedicated to the prevention and intervention of youth homelessness. Each year they host a Holiday Store for youth at risk of homelessness to shop for a special gift. You can purchase something from their Amazon wishlist, donate money, or make a homemade gift and send it to the address below by December 9th.


New Avenues for Youth

314 SW 9th Ave

Portland, OR 97205


Affirming Quakers is also compiling a collection of affirming wedding vendors across the country in an effort to support LGBTQ+ couples when tying the knot. When my wife and I were getting married, we lucked out to have Cindy be our officiant and Marcus our photographer. But otherwise, it wasn’t so easy to know what companies or small businesses would be affirming and would offer to be our DJ, make our wedding cake, or cater our wedding. We are working to create a database of vendors we have confirmed are affirming and are ecstatic to work with LGBTQ+ couples. Currently, you can find these resources on our instagram page.


Each of the founding members of Affirming Quakers have experienced exclusion at the hand of the people who should be most including and affirming: Church-goers. Without sharing too much of our individual stories, we have each experienced trauma from people claiming to be the hands and feet of Jesus. This happened after coming out as queer or proclaiming support as an ally. We will continue to offer more resources in this area (check out this post on our instagram page), but in the meantime, we know that it is comforting at times to know you aren’t alone in these experiences. We are just a DM away on our instagram page or you can email us at affirmingquakers@gmail.com any time if you need someone to talk to if you have also experienced something similar to this.


We recognize that we don’t have the answer for all of it. Trans Women of Color are the most vulnerable of us all, facing violence and death at a disproportionately high rate. LGBTQ+ youth are at an increased risk of anxiety, depression, and suicide. We will do everything we can to support, uplift, and affirm these members of our LGBTQ+ community while also knowing that it is not a one size fits all solution. That is why we need you. We need you to be a voice in your community. Teach your children to be loving and affirming of LGBTQ+ people around them. Volunteer for organizations in your own community that already support LGBTQ+ needs. Make a gift for our Gifts of Pride event. Become ordained and offer to officiate a gay wedding. Advertise that your small business openly supports and serves LGBTQ+ people. Stand up when you witness homophobia or transphobia happening around you. But most importantly, love.


We are so glad you are here.

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