One of the four objectives of the Affirming Quakers organization is to celebrate Queer joy. Some may not realize how special queer joy is, or why it’s worth celebrating.
What is queer joy?
Queer joy is joy that is celebrated by people in the LGBTQIA+ community and its allies. It is special because queer people often face extra hardships compared to their straight counterparts. When a queer individual announces their sexual or gender identity, queer relationship, or even marriage, there are often people who are homophobic, transphobic, or just plain unsupportive. Queer joy means working though those trying times and finding people who love and celebrate a person for who they are and who they love.
Queer joy is important to me for several reasons. For years I knew I was gay, and even after graduating high school and finding a partner, I wasn’t in a place in to come out and share my love. My wife, Madi, and I went through some dark days after coming out and getting married. Now, we live openly and can celebrate who we are.
You may be reading this and asking, how does this relate to Affirming Quakers?
How do Affirming Quakers and Queer Joy connect?
Affirming Quakers was started by a group of four people connected, essentially, because of queer joy. Marcus, Cindy, Madi, and I knew each other through various Quaker events and gatherings. We grew closer and closer as the years went on. Cindy, who is the fiercest of fierce allies, took Marcus, Madi, and I under her wing as we navigated coming out in a small town and going through the hardships that came with it. When Madi and I got married, we asked Cindy to officiate. Marcus captured our day as the best-dressed photographer. The four of us made it through the hard times and were able to celebrate the most joyous day of love and celebration a wedding could be. Most people’s wedding days are a day of celebration, but for the four founding members of Affirming Quakers, it was even more special because the queer joy was on full display.
For the Browns, queer joy looks like existing in a space without judgment. It’s living in an old farmhouse with a beautiful view. It’s dressing up in dorky Halloween costumes at school. It’s lying in the hammock as the fall leaves sway on the trees. It’s a movie night with our nephews or watching the Chiefs game with our families. It’s marrying off a sibling or a best friend and dancing together to our favorite songs. It’s planning to spend the holidays with both sides of our families. This is queer joy because there was a time when we weren’t sure any of this would be possible. Because our love is so special, we made it through the muck and the mud to see the light on the other side of the tunnel. Life isn’t perfect, but it sure is special, and worth celebrating.
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