TW: Depression, suicide
As we approach May, we approach Mental Health Awareness Month. Mental health is something we care deeply about at Affirming Quakers, but especially when it comes to the mental health of those in the LGBTQ+ community.
A phrase commonly used by organizations like the Trevor Project and those like it is to "be the one." This is refers to being the one accepting adult for an LGBTQ+ young person. Studies have shown that this can lower their risk of suicide by 40%.
If having one openly accepting adult can lower a teen's risk of suicide by that amount, imagine what having a whole community of openly accepting allies could do for anyone in the LGBTQ+ community. We should all strive to be the one person in someone's life who reroutes the path we are on for the better.
A pillar of who we are at Affirming Quakers is to train allies for the LGBTQ+ community. We have shared tips before about how to be good allies, but here are some tips when it comes specifically to being a good ally when you know an LGBTQ+ friend is struggling mentally:
#1 Know the signs of mental health struggles and offer resources.
Changes in someone's behavior, losing interest, irregular sleep, and becoming reclusive might be signs that someone's mental health is struggling and they may need help. Check in on your friends and offer support if you think they may need it. "They’ll appreciate you for caring about their well-being even if they feel fine."
I will never stop sharing The Trevor Project as a resource for LGBTQ+ youth. They have a 24/7 suicide hotline with trained counselors ready to call, text, or chat with anyone who may need it. If you know someone who is struggling with their mental health who might need that resource, don't hesitate to share it.
There are a plethora of online mental health resources and LGBTQ+ resources. All it may take is a Google search to find a resource that is local to you that you could share with a friend who is in need.
#2 Be a visible ally and friend, and listen to their struggles.
Again, make sure to check in on your friends. Reach out and have a conversation about recent, big life events, or make it about something small. Someone who is struggling will see that you care to have a conversation about things that are important in their life.
Genuinely listen to their concerns and struggles and use those good listening skills. Avoid interjecting and trying to prescribe a fix for their problems. Lend a listening ear and thank them for sharing their experiences with you.
#3 Share your story and take care of yourself.
If you have a mental health story and it could be helpful to share with someone who may be struggling with something similar, share it as you are able. You need to be aware of your own mental health and if it could be traumatizing to revisit traumatic events in your life, set a boundary for yourself. But if you are safe to share an experience, someone struggling could really benefit from hearing how you got yourself out of a dark time.
It is important to remember that if things get serious, it is always best to redirect someone who is struggling with their mental health to a professional or reliable resources. If you feel like you are in over your head, reach out to someone you know for advice.
We are all in this life thing together! At the end of the day, it is important to remember that you will always regret not saying something to someone in need when it is too late. Let your people know that you love them and care about them. Mental Health Awareness Month is a great time for us all to remember that! Be the one who could change the storyline for someone who may be struggling.
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